14:1 – Stronger than the Rand

A month ago we all had the intense boredom of witnessing and feeling the ripples of the monster that thrashed in the global financial ocean as almost everything became #strongerthantherand.

From the possibility of the Boks winning every game of this World Cup, as any patriotic South African should be expecting; to Mcebo Dlamini becoming the South African Ambassador to Israel while Bibi and al-Baghadi smoked Cuban cigars…and Stellenbosch actually transforming with the VF+ leading the charge through its charismatic Nkandla born black leader, while Afrikaners agree without compromise to expropriation without compensation during the Zuma-Zile Wedding , as Barry Roux agrees to represent Oscar Pretorius in a retrial for free.

In one day; all of these odd possibilities suddenly seemed more real than our national economy getting in order again.

On the right they blame workers and labour legislation for this. “If we could fire freely we might hire more.” Big business says. But this doesn’t follow the logic of cost minimization and profit maximization.
On the left they blame Capitalism and the market, wishing to usher the world into one of the many left winged utopias with full employment and equality, often under state ownership of resources… Under the leadership of a Merc driving Communist that opposes free education (much to the ire of the youth) and oversees universities that have students shutting down universities and cops coming in to settle things (can anyone say Wits Student Massacre).

In the centre everyone else is to be blamed for leaning towards one side while parliament erupts in a squabble because Malema passionately cried “Cyril you are a murder.” and the ruling party attempt to alter dual citizenship regulations.

On a more serious note though, Eishkom is part to blame for everything growing stronger than the rand; I mean, how can you expect that the economy will grow when there is no power? Load shedding can be such a spiritual experience that an atheist may find themselves grateful that God did not outsource “Let there be Light” to Eskom, otherwise load shedding would be a universal phenomena.
When apartheid ended, the government was warned that unless a the electrical infrastructure was improved, we would experience shortages in 2008. It was suddenly as if a sangoma had rolled the bones and made a prediction, because in the winter of 2008, we felt it; load shedding was here.
Cut them some slack; those folk had to make some trade offs; land redistribution, BEE etc. or focus on the national grid. History seems to judge them as having made a bit of a wrong decision.
Still, we are in the middle of a R1 trillion nuclear power deal with the Russians… can anyone say Chernobyl bankrupted our economy?

Who knows, maybe we need our economy completely screwed up. Maybe we need to build up from scratch. I mean, the Boks are doing that after they got forced to eat Wassabi at the World Cup; and Oscar is learning to once his parole drama ends. Who knows, maybe VW’s axed CEO will be singing Started with some cheating now we here! Maybe then we’ll be able to appreciate the things we have that make us a great nation… even when the lights are out and its R25:$1.
Naa. Lets just get Medupi up and running and give homeies electricity, but please, move the bones, or we’ll be cursed with blackouts forever. And maybe, just maybe; teachers unions will accept the ANAs and be willing to accept Chinese as our 13th official language; unluckiness and all.

Alternatively we could just make our currency the standard for all states in the region to peg to while rapidly devaluing it daily. And while we’re at it name all our games World Series when we’re the only ones competing. We’ll definitely be the unbeatable champions in this currency war and in the Rugby World Cup (which despite getting pawned in the first match, we’ve somehow managed to say and move into the knockouts…)

I still think the odds of us winning are maxed out at 12:1 since China isn’t playing. But hey, we can never know this for sure, now can we?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s